This week was the perfect example of the how and why I struggle with finding my identity, and maybe even my purpose a little bit. My mom came to visit, dropped off my sister, she hung out while the nanny came to watch Behr and I went to work and after work we spent time together, cooked meals for friends who had babies and packed for a wedding I am in back home this weekend. Exhausted yet? And this has been a pretty low key week.
The hardest part of blogging or guest blogging is to introduce myself. I wear many hats, but don't understand how they all fit together. I can't separate many, I would willingly drop some, and I am not able to let go of others.
I am:
Mother
Wife
Daughter
Sister
Cousin
Friend
Neighbor
Mentor
Resident Advisor
Employee
Government Contractor
Communication Liaison
Change Management Consultant
Blogger
Writer
Calligrapher
Wedding Planner
Party Planner
Stationer
Small Business Owner
and I am sure more titles could make this list
And somewhere in all of that I am first and foremost a ________ name/roll/title that I am not quite sure of which leaves me "blank." Daughter of God, follower of Christ, Christian, Sister in Christ, disciple. Nothing seems to fit quite right. I am firm in my faith. I know where I stand before God. I am not wavering in my beliefs. But I do not know what to be called, or to call myself.
And that is where I am. Not sure how to wrap up this post. Or even what pictures to include. So there you have it. A pictureless post with no ending... I would really appreciate your thoughts on this.
I definitely understand the pains of trying to define yourself. I've been trying to do it for so long! But really, at the end of the day, aren't we just ourselves? We're everything to everyone, and especially to ourselves. Really, you're everything you listed and more. You're Shannon. And I think you're pretty swell :)
ReplyDeleteI feel you 100 percent. You said it so well here...
ReplyDeleteI can't separate many, I would willingly drop some, and I am not able to let go of others.
I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief just reading that and knowing I am not alone with that emotion.
Finding our identity in Christ is obvs first + foremost, but how to explain that without sounding like a religious fanatic is hard.
I may not have a wise word to offer up at this point, so I will just say this, I am with you on this journey, friend. Let's do this thing together.
Wow. You are a busier lady than I even imagined!
ReplyDeleteHow about. "I am Shannon, a life living woman."
:)
I agree with previous posters... you're Shannon. That's you. And I don't have an answer to fill in the blank... I think IDENTITY is a life-long pursuit and it can change (somewhat) based on what stage of life you're in... new mom-hood is an "interesting" stage of life... good luck on your quest :)
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about having to define yourself too thoroughly. As wonderful as you know I think words are, sometimes they can be confining. And I don't think anyone's identity is static. Perhaps certain aspects of it are - but I think it's a lovely puzzle that the good Lord allows us to fill in a little bit at a time. I say, expect some pieces of it to come into focus over time. Especially with your sense of creativity and wonder, I would never describe you as static! =)
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