Nine days into August, and slowing down is being good to my family.
We are taking time to do the small things.
Kate wrote a sentence that rocked me to my core and inspired my slow down:
You don’t have to pick up your baby every time he cries,
you don’t have to give your toddler a cookie every time he asks for one,
but you can acknowledge how they feel.
I realized, that amidst the rush of getting things done, not only was I not acknowledging Behr's feelings, but there were times I wasn't even recognizing them.
The hardest part of the day for us is arriving home after a long, hot, sweaty commute. Behr is cranky, I am cranky, and often already feel behind on dinner preparations. Behr and I yell at each other as we strip out of our nasty clothes. Often we both cry.
This past week, we have been coming home, rushing to the air conditioning vent, collapsing, and cuddling in front of the cool air. I resist the urge start dinner. Once we both regain our composure, and normal body temperature before moving on to the next task. We are taking time to calm down together. In these moments, I have seen Behr receive my love, and I have received his. He has grabed my face between his hands and delivered a wet sloppy kiss. Instead of screaming we embrace. He is still my baby, and he still needs me, just as much as I need him. In these five or six minutes after we walk in the door, we are now sharing love.
As August continues, we will be keeping the wise words of Mother Teresa in our hearts.
Perhaps they will help you too.
Love this Shannon. It's so easy to forget these little guys and their feelings. I do it every day, and have to stop and remind myself to slow down. I like how you put it: he received my love, and I have received his. Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kate! It really is a daily isn't it? That we have to stop and remind ourselves that they have feelings too. Thanks for kicking my butt into gear.
DeleteI love this example! Last night instead of rushing Olivia around to get ready for bed, I put on her favorite DVD and let her rest her head on my chest and when she was done with that I got her dressed in jammies. I wanted to freeze that moment for all time, because so often the rush or obligations seem to be the focus of our lives.
ReplyDeleteSo great, Shannon. I read a book on acknowledging your child feelings called "raising an emotionally intelligent child." While I didn't take to heart 100% of what was said, I did gain how important it is to acknowledge the feelings of a child even if that is the LAST thing you want to do. It doesn't mean you give in to their emotion, but you validate it.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful reminder. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteOh Shannon, this is beautiful. From the quote to your writing, I loved each and every part of it. Such a lovely reminder.
ReplyDeletelove.
ReplyDelete